I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
