jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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