I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
where does the pee come out of this thing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
