so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
