I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
operation harelip BJ is a go
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
