just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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