was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
