How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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