found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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