I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
