when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
