just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
