Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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