Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
