you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
smell my finger.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
