What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
