the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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