she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
