Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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