Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
