He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
