i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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