I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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