i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
