Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
