I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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