You really coming over, don't trick.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
