ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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