Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
