Even the bartender felt bad for me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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