I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
