I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
