Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
