The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
