Are we in a gay sports bar?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
