dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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