sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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