You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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