He kissed a someone with a penis
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
