But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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