Soap is not a condiment
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
