Need sex. Gaining weight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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