With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
