i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
