I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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