It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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