He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
