yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
