For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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