I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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