someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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